Global Domination

Audio Autopsy - January 2009

01/01/09  ||  Global Domination

Deeds Of Flesh: Of what’s to come

6.8/10

Lord K: At times they cook up some insanely fine riffing (opener “Waters of space” is a great example) and those double kicks sure do their job. Hysterical and technical death metal with a somewhat muddy production that leaves me too exhausted after a few songs to be able to enjoy it completely. Definitely better than fellow technicians Beneath The Massacre (also in this edition), but not much. Recommended tune: Pick any one coz it all sound the same. Another “meh” experience in one of the weakest AA in a long time. 5

Kampfar: It’s not like “Of what’s to come” etched itself into my brainstem because of its unique and original nature, but impressive skills coupled with a knack for songwriting, aka easy on the wank, makes this dish of tech death both edible and enjoyable. 7

The Duff: Deeds get praise from all directions, especially witnessed in bands following in their footsteps. I’ve never been one to understand the appeal, even if the couple of albums I’ve heard, “Reduced to ashes” and “Crown of thorns”, are pretty spiffy – once brutal and nothing stimulating, they seem to have recently taken after all the bands who subtlety integrate the Deeds sound into a more colorful style of death metal. Apparently this is the “same ol’ Deeds”, but they’ve sure fooled me; this sounds fresher than what I’m used to, with riffs venturing further than the top three strings, and overall, this is a commendable effort. In the end, though, it doesn’t work one hundred percent in their favour – you get the impression that it’s more like an extra coat of paint, as if some of the riffs were written before deciding to jump upon the tech death bandwagon. 7

Abyss: Compared to Beneath the Massacre the Dudes Of Flesh are mastercraftsmen in the death metal field, but in the grand scheme of things they’re just middleclass workers who do their job without much bravado, but with a good amount of effort. 6

Seker: I really hated the material from this latest Deeds effort the first time I heard it. It sounded like the same sort of twiddly-widdly-bing-boing crap you get out of Psycroptic nowadays, and I was similarly disappointed when I compared it with their back catalogue. Luckily, I gave “Of What’s to Come” another chance, and I ended up buying it before this AA was even announced. I’m really glad I did, because this is actually a lot better than Deeds of Flesh’s last album, which was certainly no slouch. It’s a somewhat radical departure from their usual sound in that incorporates a lot of modern tendencies like technical melodic soloing and somewhat obvious breakdown sections, but what sets Deeds of Flesh apart is that they are actually able to pull this style off without sacrificing any of their old songwriting style. It’s still as intricate, inaccessible, and brutal as ever, but they’ve given it a new coat of paint. I’d highly recommend this one if you like anything from Suffocation to Necrophagist to Gorguts to Crimson Massacre to… hell, if you like death metal, just check this one out. 9

Kreator: Hordes of chaos

6.4/10

Lord K: Sometimes Kreator hint at their old selves on this recording, which is nice. Most of the time they churn out some modern thrash metal that most of us could do without since we have the old classic albums to listen to. It’s nice to see that Mille and his fag friends can still thrash a little, and every now and then I even nod my head approvingly. It’s a fucken wonder that I once loved Mille’s vocals though, coz seriously – they aren’t exactly fantastic. Recommended tune: The title track. There’s a reason it’s put first, you know. 6

Kampfar: For fuck’s sake, I’ve heard babies cry less annoying than how Mille sounds whilst singing, snarling, sneering, whatever, my point being that his vocal chords obviously are close related to, or infected by, the almighty suck. Oh well, the music ain’t bad at all, the up-tempo, energetic and quite angry one dimensional thrash, that is. I salute the energy, I piss on the croak baby. 5

The Duff: I can’t understand early Kreator; I’m sure it’s some of the finest thrash ever written, but for now it’s like rubbing barbed-wire around my gnads, back and over the top of my head and in a see-saw motion up and down my ass crack. I even had to walk out on them during a live show; they just can’t measure up to SYL and Vader, in my humblest of opinions. Now what do I think of new Kreator? This is some alright stuff, but as I’m sure would be the case with the two albums released prior, nothing that makes me produce excessive quantities of man-margarine. I doubt this’ll ever be a band I’ll ever fully comprehend the adoration over, but on the other hand, comparatively, I sincerely regret giving Metallica a 5 for “Death Magnetic”. 6

Abyss: Fuck me with a three-pronged fork, that’s all I can say. Just when I thought Kreator was peaking with “Violent revolution” they hit me right across the face with “Enemy of God” and now, 3 years after that one I’m once again pleasantly bruised and abused. The riffs, leads, vocals, drums, it’s all here. While there’s a melodic side to Kreator now a days I feel it doesn’t detract anything from the aggression and punch of the music. It is only at times that things get too saccharine, but not often enough for me to really care. 8

Seker: Holy shit, the first riff on the second song of this album is just a guy hitting a harmonic over and over! I don’t know about you, but if that had been the first song I’d heard off of this album, I’d have given up, but luckily, they put that little shitter about five minutes in. Have you heard “Enemy of God”? Groovy thrash riffs mixed in with some Gothenburg-sounding stuff, right? This is like that, except a little angrier. For what it’s worth, this is a pretty catchy album that might satisfy fans of old In Flames looking for something a bit meaner, or maybe those that got their rocks off to the melodic parts on Kataklysm’s “Shadows and Dust”. Pretty good album, but definitely not “Coma of Souls”, if you catch my drift. Taste the rainbow! 7

The Faceless: Planetary duality

6.2/10

Lord K: So, in the competition between Beneath The Massacre, Deeds Of Flesh and The Faceless – these guys win. Über-über technical death metal with some Meshuggah influenced breaks here and there. Sounds like your cup of tea? Computerized tech death, and I mean that as in overusing ProTools/Cubase when it comes to cutting the guitars tight and all. Recommended tune: In this mess you can choose whichever. It’s hardly about songs anyways. 6

Kampfar: Hmm, isn’t naming your band The Faceless band like saying: “We have no identity”? Extremely lame joke aside, this album is namely really rather interesting, progressive tech death the name of the game. I wouldn’t mind if the guitars had been a tad meatier, and the drums a notch or two less clicky/sucky, but “Planetary duality” is nonetheless an album I recommend to those who prefer their death with a twist. Oh, the clean vocals need to go as well, ones fortunately not scattered all over the place. 7

The Duff: I can understand why The Faceless became the new darlings of technical metal with the release of their last album, “Akeldama”, if this here is anything to form an opinion on; apparently they’ve upped the ante on “Planetary Duality” – the musicianship here is very slick, a style advocated by bands like Necrophagist all those years ago. Okay, so I reckon this album is incredible, but it has a couple of glaring drawbacks – it’s incredibly sparse on brand new material; its proggy, concept album-like nature doesn’t work, especially considering it cuts the album length drastically when removed; the clean vocals suck – overall, this could be contender for album of the year, as it stands, I’m disappointed in a band I thought I’d never give much attention to in the first place. Once more Pär Olofsson bedazzles – sometimes I wonder how he would draw something simple like a bowl of fruit or two monkeys fucking – probably with razor wire in place of all the hairy bits. Eeeeeeeeew… I hate kiwi-fruit… 8

Abyss: Proggy death metal if the slightly more brutal variety, how does that sound? Pretty good if you ask me. 6

Seker: Sounds like a broken vacuum cleaner built buy Meshuggah trying to suck up the first Cynic album. The decent cover art does nothing to remedy this fact: under the surface, it’s standard shorthaired death metal built to new millennium specifications. 4

Devian: God to the illfated

6.2/10

Lord K: I get some Immortal vibes here and there though I wouldn’t say this is a black metal band by a longstretch. They throw in some quite fine ideas and interesting arrangements with an obvious skill for playing their instruments. But it just doesn’t grab me. Devian mixes alot of influences together and somehow ends up getting an own identity without being the least original. Recommended tune: “Awaiting doom”. 5

Kampfar: Devian is not exactly a groundbreaking and original lot, but their mix of different genres feels kinda fresh and exciting anyhow, so, at least when compared to the norm, they somewhat are. If only a bit. Melodic Extreme-Metal Light is by the way a fucking brilliant way to sum their quality shit up. 7

The Duff: A decent black metal band, but nothing exceptional; the financial backing has gone in, as the sound is very rich, but the music is quite average. 5

Abyss: “Ninewinged serpent” was not a bad album, although it did suffer from some pretty mediocre songwriting. On the follow-up Legion and Emil seem to have flogged themselves and their band members sufficiently to come up with an album that, while not an immediate classic, at least keeps my interest up through out the whole recording. Compared to other bands in the death/thrash genre I’d say Devian are good but not Dimension Zero-great. 7

Seker: Legion, former singer of Marduk, has a new band, and it’s surprisingly good. It’s a sort of black/death metal blend, with the more death metal parts of the music sounding like Zyklon channeling Morbid Angel with some groove-based parts. These are interspersed with melodic sections reminiscent of the lead guitar playing on Marduk’s “Heaven Shall Burn”: classically influenced harmonies with a bit of an evil Iron Maiden thing to them. These are the moments where the band really shines; they’ve got a talent for layered melody you usually don’t see nowadays. It’s not the most original stuff in the world, but it’s a lot better than the stuff I’m used to hearing when the old AA train comes ‘round. 7

Beneath The Massacre: Dystopia

5.6/10

Lord K: I strongly believe that you have to be somewhat retarded to even have the strength to bare with playing music like this. Yet another über-technical death metal platoon that is absolutely all over the place. I can appreciate this in a band like Necrophagist (but fuck them as well becoz their band leader seems to be a complete fucken nutsack) but Beneath The Massacre just won’t groove enough for me to fully enjoy. Impressive musicianship, sure, but ultimately it boils down to being as fun as having the chance to look at Kate Beckingsale naked, only problem is that you are Stevie Wonder… Recommended tune: Can’t really pick a specific song in this chaos. 4

Kampfar: Tech death tends to be more about tech than death, more wank than fuck, if you like, but in the case of Beneath The Massacre we are talking a 1:1 ratio. Sure, the Canucks in question are all over the place, but they haven’t forgot to add bottom, which means you, and I, have something to hold onto while pummeled by instrumental wizardry. The vocalist is also good, a meaty growl he sports. 8

The Duff: These guys are insanely talented, it’s true, but I’ve never been drawn into their style of tech death; I think it’s the overly simple stuff they tie in the complex with. The production isn’t helping heaps, and along with the vocals, although I can find myself recommending this to many, I consider “Dystopia” an affair unlikely to cause enthusiasm. I do prefer this more than the last album, though, as they’ve diminished the hardcore, “catchier” style to their songwriting, and I know bands that would give their Grandmother a live hand-grenade for Christmas in exchange for the skills on display here, but there is a lack of song-structuring that makes this technical death metal for the “brootal” fan – definitely not my thing unless you’re Hour of Penance. Musically a nine, I’m not one to judge them on the clothes they wear, so personal preference brings this to a: 7

Abyss: Tricksy fixy wacka-wacka bleep-metal. As impressive and violent BTM’s death metal are, it’s hard to sustain attention for a full 30 min, it’s just a little bit too spastic. I like it, but considering Slayer made 30 min feel like 2 seconds without compromising on the technicalities I guess the problem must lie in the songwriting. 6

Seker: Now this is what I thought the new Deeds of Flesh was going to sound like. Take everything I wrote about that album and add the phrase “only it sucks” to the end, and you’ve got yourself a review. These guys are going on tour with Cryptopsy; let’s just say they deserve each other. 3

The Amenta: nOn

5/10

Lord K: I love the natural kick sound. Taxi… Unlike Kampfar I won’t give these guys a second spin. Simply becoz their futuristic and sooo innovative metal blows goat cock. And I thought Six Feet Under was the worst band in this edition. Recommended tune: “On”, the intro. Becoz the pain only last for 44 seconds in that one. 1

Kampfar: “nOn” is Australia’s answer to “666 international”, minus much of the brilliance, that is. Or perhaps it needs more than a mere couple of spins to unfold itself into my fantastic brain? Not unlikely. See, this is rather complex and chaotic music, so I’m vehement on not passing out a final verdict just yet. Ergo, not sure if I’ll ever love this shit, but will try a few times more before I give up on diggin’ it. Cunt. 7

The Duff: I reviewed “The Occasus” for the old site years back, and I remember thinking that I couldn’t see another album’s worth of material unless they radically evolved. Here we are with album number two with almost exactly the same thing, I’m guessing keeping fans eagerly awaiting this release very content; they’ve sidestepped becoming a one-trick pony by taking a small lifetime to release the follow-up to their highly acclaimed debut full-length, and I’m left just as impressed seeing as I can’t remember the highly acclaimed debut full-length. Track names like “Rape”, “A.I.D.S.” and “Grandma’s Cookie Mix Recipe w/ Raisins” definitely don’t hurt the scoring either, and I’m finding the band has not lost much with the departure of what I would have thought to be an essential part of their sound in old vocalist Cessium 137. 7

Abyss: Congratulations, that’s probably the worst production I’ve heard in a long time. Over-producing the drums much? The music? Not really sure. Deathy? Whatever. 4

Seker: I was fully prepared to hate this, but it’s actually not bad. It reminds me a bit of a really noisy version of old Skinny Puppy doing remixes of some modern death metal band, cutting up the generic riffs Burroughs style and pasting them back together over some sheet metal noise to make something vaguely interesting. Better than Beneath the Massacre, worse than Deeds of Flesh. One caveat: the metal facets of this music are used more for textural purposes than anything else, so it might not appeal to someone who listens only to metal and nothing else. 6

Legion Of The Damned: Cult of the dead

4.8/10

Lord K: For some reason these guys always came across as cashing in on too much attention for no apparent reason. They aren’t doing anything fantastic with their thrash metal, not at all, and those quite cool album covers can’t change that. I used to love me some thrash metal when I was younger, but this specific genre isn’t really holding up anymore. This lot is just another one of all those fruitless attempts at re-creating the classic thrash albums we all love. And no, there’s not one single Megadeth album among those. Competent, fine production and a huge dose of yawns: Legion Of The Damned. Recommended tune: Once again the actual title track appears to be the highlight, and it’s not even particularly swell. 5

Kampfar: Apart from the motherfucking voice-overs, Colombian necktie for you, “Cult of the dead” is a really rather good piece of thrash. I’m not about to ejaculate laud and love all over it, nah ah, but most thrash ensembles I stumble across is far, far worse than this. 6

The Duff: Not bad, not great; traditional metal trying to be something else. Although entertaining for the first spins when listened to with half an ear, this has less to offer than a gay version of the Bond villain Jaws at a southern decadence blowjob marathon event. 4

Abyss: I know some hate these guys with a vengeance but I’m not really sure why. While not being extravagantly super-fantastic I can always but on one of their albums and find some entertaining/thrashing songs. Unfortunately the weird and sterile production kills a lot of the vibe on “Cult of the dead”. 5

Seker: Like Unleashed… only it sucks! And has bad vocals! And they stole their logo from One Man Army and the Penis Quartet! Who are also a shitty band! Oh boy! 4

Tankard: Thirst

4.6/10

Lord K: There’s a song called” Myevilfart” on this one. That’s so hilarious. Almost as hilarious as Tankard’s neverending beer theme and half-assed thrash metal. I hope my sarcasm is getting thru ok in text. Recommended tune: “Myevilfart” becoz of the genius title. 4

Kampfar: Piss at times comes in a color equal to that of beer, but Tankard isn’t complete urine, just boring, generic thrash with some of the most inane lyrics ever written. Stale beer, then. 4

The Duff: Gee, inspired by Slayer and Metallica much? Shame they haven’t got the energy or dark vibe down, ‘cos otherwise this ain’t bad; the vocalist sounds like he should be singing for an entirely different sub-genre, though. 5

Abyss: Never given much time, thought or attention to Tankard when they don’t have an album out. They have an album out now and I’m not too worried, I’ll soon forget about them again. 4

Seker: Huhhuhuhuh, hey Beavis I think they like beer, huhuhuhuh also this is decent speed metal but nothing to write home about. 6

Saxon: Into the labyrinth

4.2/10

Lord K: The day I care about anything Saxon-ish apart from the song “Crusader” is the day I grow a cocaine factory in in my face and Metallica is playing there every day. Only material from the first 4 albums will be allowed. Recommended tune: “Crusader”. And no, it’s not on this album. 3

Kampfar: Whoa, must kill myself before I grow old. 2

The Duff: I’ve never known much about Saxon, but I’m digging this, as much as you can enjoy power metal without a table leg inserted up your ass. The guys are talented, for sure, and still dishing out the rockin’ tunes – to put this in perspective, considering their time as a band, they’re kicking the shit out of the new Iced Earth; it’s almost like unpretentious power metal, but not quite – there are rules that must be adhered to afterall, y’know, so kinda like Maiden but with less class. I always thought they were linked to the NWOBHM, as one of its now less successful forerunners, but at times they sound more like AC/DC than Priest or the aforementioned legends. The table leg isn’t all the way in, and I used lube; it’s also an IKEA coffee table, ideal for resting your feet on when seated upon a sofa roughly three-quarters of a meter off the ground… so you’re legs slant down at about a fifty degree angle. 7

Abyss: At first spin I thought this was alright, all the spins after that made me realise I was wrong. This is crap. 3

Seker: Saxon live to rock, which is probably why they’re still going after all this time. AC/DC does this kind of thing better, but it’s hard to fault Saxon for going with a well-perfected formula. 6

Metalium: Incubus – chapter seven

3.8/10

Lord K: Let me write chapter 8. It’s called “Go Fuck Yourselves, Metalium”. Recommended tune: There is none. 2

Kampfar: Hoppla, hoppla, I still don’t care a fig for power metal. 4

The Duff: Iced Earth meets Maiden meets Nevermore-lite; one minute into “Resurrection” and the vocalist is getting filthy with talk of facials and raunchy sex – cumming into faces, singing about needing “something to hold on to”. Yeah, baby! I’m really enjoying this; good-hearted, fun metal overall, and yet I retired my shield and BROAD SWORD (hey-ooooo, talking about my penis there… although it ain’t retired… them’s just rumors) years ago – surprisingly enjoyable considering the last time I cherished an Iced Earth album was five years ago. 7

Abyss: Chapter seven?? Fuck me, I must’ve missed something cuz last time I remember Metalium was still on album one. 3

Seker: The only thing worse than really fast power metal is really slow power metal, because it takes longer to end. Or maybe this is “mid paced”; I really don’t careeeeeaaaaaauuughh! 3

Six Feet Under: Death rituals

3.2/10

Lord K: On one side we have Torture Division – creators of the world’s best death metal. On the opposite side we have Six Feet Under – creators of the world’s worst death metal. In my Beneath The Massacre coverage in this edition of AA I mentioned that you have to be somewhat retarded to to play that kind of technical death metal. When it comes to Six Feet Under I know for a fact that you ARE retarded if you take a liking in what they create. Recommended tune: Fuck you. 2

Kampfar: Warning, this album features the single most scary message ever recorded to an answering machine. Fuck you, Iggy Poop, it’s not nice to make people shit their pants like that. Oh well, “Death rituals” is pretty much business as usual, as you would expect, which means there are some good riffs here and there, and a bunch of boring ones pretty much everywhere else. 4

The Duff: I can’t say I’ve heard worse in a death metal band; this slow-paced garbage has no appeal – the musicianship is goddamned horrific, the riffs some real lazy shit, and well, consider me to never be a fan of Six Feet Under on the strength of this travesty. Anyone telling me to check out their classic era will get a brick-load of my dick in their mouth. 1

Abyss: Something must’ve happened to my brain because suddenly, I found myself sorta digging on SFU! Fucking hell… I still don’t like Chris Barnes vocals, there’s too much phlegm and too little brutality, but I realized that on more then one occasion I was actually tapping my fingers and smiling (while the album was still playing!). If this means that SFU has finally made a decent record or if my retardation is finally kicking in full-gear is anyone’s guess. 6

Seker: Holy shit, Chris Barnes’ voice is so absolutely and completely shot that it’s not even funny. Even the occasionally decent groove riffs cannot cover up this fact: it sounds like he has a cold, or someone is punching him in the stomach. I hope Seth Putnam gives this band athlete’s foot . 3

Guns N’Roses: Chinese democracy

2.6/10

Lord K: I think I have to give this album some more time. 15 years or whatever it took to release it might be enough. Recommended tune: “Never gonna give you up” by Rick Astley. 4

Kampfar: Apart from the whiny voice of Axl “I’m a humongous twat” Rose, there is nothing left of the Guns ‘N Overdoses I once, and to some extent still love. Not very tragic this, as I have discovered like a 1000 excellent bands since first spinning “Appetite for destruction” – but, tragedy or not, “Chinese democracy” is still an overproduced, overdone, incoherent and pathetic piece of irrelevant drivel. Die. 2

The Duff: It’s taken China from the first time this album’s title was made public to its release date to register some annoyance and take a dissatisfied stance with Axl Rose’s latest album – for the record, this isn’t worth starting a war over, just get some new intelligence, preferably someone with their finger on the pulse, eh? This album is some dull material for thirteen years and fuck knows how much money, and most of it is down to Axl’s abhorrent whiny vocals – “Street of Dreams” is one of the few saving performances on this record – as well as the obvious musical clashes due to the separate recording periods of individual band members; these guys never played as a full band, if I’m not mistaken. I also can’t agree more with Euth’s third from last paragraph in his review read only if you can handle the taste of literary genius seed in your mouth. There are some catchy moments that remind me of the Guns of old, but this is not a good album. 3

Abyss: No, no, no, no. This is not how you do it. I don’t care if “Chinese democracy” has the worlds longest and most expensive recording history, if no members except a holographic copy of Axl Rose are still in the band or if people named Bumblefoot are considered having a “cool” name. The only think I care about is that the songs on “Chinese democracy” is a fucking joke, just like the title. There’s nothing very remarkable to be heard here, neither musically (where are all those great hooks and choruses from “Use your illusions” and “Appetite…”?) nor vocally (oh fuck, don’t get me started…). It’s just the world’s longest musical cocktease. Now, who want’s a Dr. Pepper? Might as well rinse off the bad tatse with something that tastes even worse, eh? 3

Seker: Ching chong nip nong fong fuck you. 1

Edguy: Tinnitus sanctus

2.4/10

Lord K: I want this Ed guy to fucken die a horrible fucken death. Then let’s take turns in fucking the corpse. Recommended tune: You got to be fucken shitting me, recommending a tune here would be like recommending a sexual transmitted disease to your best friend. 2

Kampfar: Light-hearted heavy/power metal will never ever float my boat, much rather sink it, but Edguy is anyways a quality band. Excellent production, good instrumentation, shitty genre. 5

The Duff: Judas Priest still suck, Iron Maiden are still kicking ass, Saxon are still so-so, why not stick around? Why do we need Edguy? This is terrible music; the lyrics, the dead-as-fuck riffs, the lukewarm musicianship and dime-a-dozen vocalist who doesn’t understand the concept of phrasing to fit the music – just a case of peaks, troughs and a shit-load of vibrato, to hell with variation. 2

Abyss: For being a power metal band always with one foot in the cheese-fondue, it’s at least always been possible to commend Edguy for being talented musicians with a good sense of catchy melodies. At least it used to be easy. Something happened after “Mandrake” and I don’t know what. Maybe it was Sammet running out of ideas, maybe it was the shock of 9/11, maybe it was their true German “Mambo-Kurt”-heritage that finally took over full force, who knows. But today Edguy is nothing more than poo on a platter, simple as that. 2

Seker: Power metal is pretty much the worst stuff in the world. Take some boring chugga-chugga riffs and have some flower-pickin’ douchemonger sing over that shit in the most homosexual voice possible (and not Halford homosexual either), throw in some overly ostentatious solos, and you get… SHIT! 1

Mudvayne: The new game

2.4/10

Lord K: I can’t say that I know Mudvayne all that well. I believe they wore masks at one point, or did they? I also remember that I really dug some of their Faith No More-stolen parts on some earlier albums. Now there’s a new game in town and it’s called… eh… “The new game”. I thought I would like this somewhat, but it’s definitely below my expectations in most areas. Mudvayne’s got some decent riffs here and there but overall – this is too annoying and sterile to get much out of, but it works as background music. Recommended tune: “Dull boy”. 4

Kampfar: “The hate in me” is an exemplification of a band fighting themselves rather than the world. Buhu, I have darkness in my soul and I’m all out of tissues. Fuck you guys, try a shotgun and rid planet piss of your not very needed tribute to Tool, nu-metal and generic gayness already. Hate is awesome, god damn it. 3

The Duff: Okay, I didn’t give this a chance – twenty seconds in and I shot over to the new Kreator. Here’s something that should counterbalance the hasty response to having shit poured into my ears, thereby sealing your opinion of me as a professional journalist once and for all – “The new game” is shit. 1

Abyss: Are these clowns still alive? What’s next, a guest-mic from Fred Durst? Mudvayne sounds like metal for people who don’t like metal. 2

Seker: Not if you were the last band in the universe. 2

Unearth: The march

2.4/10

Lord K: The cheese is back in town! Unearth blows with their metalcore and the feeble attempt at incorporating melodic death metal riffs into the mix is just silly. I long for the day when each and every band of this genre is dead. Recommended tune: Me recommending metalcore? Not in this edition. Either. 2

Kampfar: Unearth rhymes with unbirth, hint, hint, and is an American shit band who obviously found it wise to lay generic core vocals on top of melodic death, or something. Piss off. 3

The Duff: Great musicianship, lame music; metalcore used to be better than this, didn’t it? I thought it started with Killswitch Engage, Shadows Fall and Lamb of God; early albums from such by now well established bands walk all over what Unearth have to offer, as I consider “The March” to be a disgraceful affair – I’m hearing melodeath riffs (and leads, yer cheeky bastards!) that were written by In Flames ten years ago, fer fuck’s sake; absolutely nothing new. When this band lets loose, I get the common, tiresome “let’s slow diz biatch right da fuck down” approach adopted by such minimally gifted metal bands that need to disguise the dull as all fuck riffing, an aspect that should not go unnoticed by someone into metal for the music first and the need to break faces second… maybe getting laid third, ‘cos cattle decapitation and dying fetuses sure do get the ladies moist – this shit is boring, no matter how angry fat people on subways make you feel. 2

Abyss: I’m sorry, I just can’t get myself to love metalcore, especially not this faceless, bland version of pissed-off men in tanktops. 3

Seker: DUN DUN DUN widdly widdly EAST BAY HARDCORE BREAKDOWN! Wow, this shit is pretty terrible. 2